#255 – Mark Normand: Comedy!

If robots get human emotions... I think we can dominate them, because who knows emotions better than us? We've got thousands of years of evolutionary emotional bullshit. We can go, 'Hey, robot. Heard your wife fucked that Black & Decker, huh?' They're gonna crumble. We can bully them.

Everybody wants love to be this prepackaged, perfect, euphoric thing... It's like a good body. We're all born with a good body, but you gotta keep it in shape, and it's the same with a loving relationship.

I don't know, who wants to love themself? Everybody is always like 'you gotta love yourself,' and then when you meet someone who does love yourself, you're like, 'I fucking hate this guy.' ... 'I'm great. I'm awesome. Life is good.' This guy sucks. I'd rather an insecure guy.

I think the key to life is living that fucking crazy, awesome, badass life and also having some, you know, meaning and a little bit of, what's the word, just not killing yourself ... There's a medium there, a sweet spot.

New York used to be where you went to make it as a painter or whatever, a comedian or a singer. And there were all these dives and shitboxes and all these places you could go. And now it's more Pinkberrys and Subway sandwiches and Chase Banks. So, it's definitely lost a lot of its creative edge.

Mars is eh. There's nothing there. There's no vagina there, there's no food there, there's no water there. I don't know ... I get space travel; I think it's important. But I don't know if Mars is really gonna move the needle.

That's a good key to life is work hard at something you care about and then love the result, the hard work. The journey is actually way more important than getting something.

Bombing is not failure; it's just data.

I think the key to happiness and satisfaction is working for something.

Beer was just labeled an alcoholic beverage in 2011, fun fact, in Russia ... It was like apple juice before. It finally got declared legally as an alcoholic beverage.