Joe Rogan Gets High & Flagrant

If there's ever one thing that someone could do to stop aging, it's lift weights—and don't stop. And don't do it for vanity; do it because you want to keep your tissue. Think of it as, like, age is like a little demon that's slowly robbing you of your tissue—your ability to walk upstairs, your ability to open up jars, your ability to open a car door when it's frozen. All that shit is real, and the only way to stave that off is weightlifting.

The thing that's great about the woods is that it's a human reset. When you're legitimately out in the mountains, it's a human reset, because you realize no one gives a fuck who you are. No one gives a fuck about you. Everything here is trying to do their thing.

That's the thing that people need to realize—being nice is great. It feels good to everybody. When you make people feel good, you feel good too. It's good for all parties involved. It's not a selfish one-way endeavor if someone gets success. It should be good for you, too. You should be happy for them, and they're happier. You're happy, and everyone's happy.

We're in this weird time where we're only like a decade or so away from nothing being a secret, ever ... You'll be able to read minds. You're coming to a place where language is probably going to be universal, and you're going to be able to communicate with people that are nowhere near you using the power of your thought.

Moose will— They regular stomp people to death. It's a normal thing. Most people avoid them at all costs, but if you fuck up and you're too close to a moose, they'll come for you. They're different. They're different than any other wild animal because they deal with wolves, so they're real good at stomping.

Your DNA is accustomed to fighting off predators, fucking bears, and big cats. That's our past—all human beings. We didn't get here instantaneously. We got here through a long, bloody horrific process where a lot of babies got eaten by wolves.

Because polar bears only eat meat. They're not like any other bear. They're the most predatory of all bears, because they don't have any other options. They don't have any vegetables. There's no grass. All they eat is fucking seals or anything else—anything that's there. Polar bears will come for you!

There's so much defensiveness in this world right now... Things that are completely out of our hands, like... the possible war with Ukraine—that's completely out of our hands. We're all just sitting here in a state of anxiety. Like, what are we going to do? Like, if Russia launches a nuke, if some wild shit happens, if China invades Taiwan, what are we going to do?

It's like everything else you do—it's the amount of energy you put into it; it's the amount of focus you put into it. If you put a lot into it, you can get better at it.

A chihuahua is a fucking wolf, which is wild. It started out as a wolf, but through selective breeding, they figured out a way to turn them into chihuahuas.

[John M. Allegro] traced back the word Christ to an ancient Sumerian word that meant a mushroom covered in God's semen. Because they thought when it rained that it was God coming on the Earth, because that was how things would grow.

Fishing is boring as fuck until it's not. That's what fishing is ... The experience you get when it's not boring is undeniable.

If you wanted to design a perfect physique for fighting, I think it's Jon Jones.

You think it's bad right now with the Republicans versus the Democrats? Like, what happens when the aliens land?

Mitzi Shore is, like, legitimately, if you looked at all of the people that are important in the development of comedy, she's the number one most important person that wasn't a comic.