I've learned with relationships throughout the years predict like marriages and business relationships and what my partner or HubSpot. You want to get the difficult conversations out, the way early on because that will literally save you of decade of heartache. And with my marriage, I get the same
thing. I feel like I can rule the world. I know I could be what I want to put my all in it like a day's travel, never looking back. Yeah.
FM. My
name is Rob, how do I keep my marriage and other relationships healthy? When I work long hours? All right, it's one question Friday. Somebody asked a question about marriage. I've been married for a few years. I've been with my wife in a relationship for ten years plus and it's pretty great relationship. Someone was asking me for advice on it and I'm going to reference something that I used to do. So, basically, I talked about this thing on this pots, basically, I've got this new thing. I'm working on and my co-founder, and I, we did.
Interesting. That seems pretty obvious to me, but when I mentioned on the podcast, it's surprise some people. But basically we kind of like both had an idea that we wanted to work on and we were like cool. Like this is something I'm working. I would like to work on. Would you like to work on and he said, yeah, whatever. And so we got a little bit of Attraction we go. Alright, we know this will can work but let's pump the brakes stop right now and I want to have a conversation with you. And what I want to know is a bunch of questions, and so I said I sent him the same questions and then I went and
Answered them on my on my own and it basically outlined, what? So it here the categories, it was what do I want? So financially I said what I want my personal net worth to be I said that I want to have freedom. I want the ability to fly private. I want to live in different cities throughout the year. I want to be present and my future children's and current wife's life, current wife. You know what I mean? I want to own a bunch of different real estate. I want fun adventure. I want to
Work hard, but I went to work-like a line, me lion, meaning, I'm willing to work, like in grind for many weeks, but then, I want to take three or four weeks off a year or five weeks off a year, and I want to travel the world comfortably. I also said that I care about influence. I said, I want a seat at the big boys table, and for people to think that I'm really good at my job. And so, I just said, like, here's like what I want in life, then I we each answered a question of ways that were ways in which we want to get to where we want to go. So basically, things were willing to do and I said I'm going to need to do this.
I'm willing to do this and I'm willing to do this like I'm not willing to hire 10,000 employees. I don't want that. I'm not willing to have recurring meetings. I'm not willing to do this or that I am willing to work 80 hours a week. I am willing to put this first above every other project, I have things like that. And then finally we said, like here's what we want out of this business, we want to aggressively scale it or that's what I said. I want to aggressively scale it, I want to hit a hundred million dollars in revenue and x amount of years like. So anyway, really specific and then he
Answer this on his own and we came back together and we said, all right, let's see where we align and where we don't align because I want to figure out right away if there's any deal breakers and in fact this is what I do did when I sold my company, I said up spot wanted to buy us and I go they sent me a cold email and I go hey, we want to talk about partnership and I was like, I don't know what partnership means. Does that mean you want to buy us? Just tell me right away and they said, yeah, we want to buy you. I said cool. Here's a Google doc and it had I list out all the reasons why you don't want to buy us and where we stink, if
See that list is okay with you, talk to me again. And so they said, yeah, we're okay with everything on this list, it's not them, it's that bad. And we said all right, cool, let's keep talking. And so, anyway, my point is, is I've learned with relationships throughout the years predict like marriages and business relationships, and what my partner, or AB spot. You want to get the difficult conversations out the way early on because that will literally save you a decade of heartache. And with my marriage, I did the same thing. So my
Tonight it sounds kind of lame because I don't want it to sound that my business is so important to me that I like permeates into like my marriage but in a way it kind of does but basically two months or three months into dating, I was like, hey just so you know or maybe it was six months. I was like just, you know, like I see us going places and like being together for a very long time and potentially marriage. Is that what you see? And she was like, yeah, I was like awesome were on the same page and then we actually outline, you know how, like when people say they're like yeah, I want to like have a nice house.
With kids and all this stuff. I was like, all right, let's get really specific. Tell me how many kids do you think you want? You don't need it. Like, tell me you want exactly three kids but like, give me a ballpark like where your intentions are now and I know they might change but to me like a ballpark on where they are. Okay, great. Now, how much money do you want to make each year? Okay, cool, where do you want to live? Do you want to live here? Let's go on Zillow right now. All that house is eight million dollars. So let's work backwards to like we're how much that, how are we going to afford that house? Great. So we understand, like, where we want to be or, you know, financially
Let's talk about what we're willing to sacrifice in order to get that and we listed out all those things. It's like look for my 20s. Business is going to come before like relationship. So like meaning there's going to be a lot of times that I'm not going to be around when you need me, but that's because I'm going to be dedicating a lot of time in order to get this other goal that we have that, we're going to have in our 30s, things like that. And so we really just outlined like very specifically where we wanted to be in 10, 20, and 30 years. And we did it exactly like a business where it was like,
Just where we want to go specifically. Like, here's how much money we want. How many kids we want? The type of Lifestyle. We want the type of family we want in our life, if we wanted to raise them religious or non-religious, like all this stuff, and of course, we knew it will change as we grow and get more information. But anyway, we did it to get that hard stuff out of the way. Another thing that we do, which is like, kind of lame, but, you know, how a company has okrs which stands for objectives, and key results and like, you're supposed to set those quarterly. We
And annually. You have like an annual Target and then like quarterly, like benchmarks we do that for our life. And so we have an adventure one. We have a like relationship one. We have a financial one and we have a physical fitness one where it's like. All right, here's where we like here's what we want to do like for our health. Here's what we want to the trips that we want to take. Here's Lee want to be financially. Here's the ways that we want to like give back to our family and spend time with them. And we actually do these check-ins once a week. I use this
Journal that my friend started, her name's cat, it's called best self Co and she's got this relationship journal, and for the longest time, we still do it but we would meet once a week on Friday and we would document where we are in according to our goals, and it's pretty successful. So anyway, that's how I look at my marriage. I take it. Like, I do two things that are kind of odd, but I think it works is I can we kind of operate it, like a business, of course. There's like, I remember when we were getting married. You have to like meet with the priest ahead of time and we're like, yeah, we have the same values.
We have seen this and well, and he was like, what you guys love each other and were like, yeah, dude. Obviously, like, of course, like, I want to acknowledge that like, this sounds like really regimented but there's like, all that love and the important stuff is totally obviously there. That's the most important thing. But like logistically we do a really good job of like outlining what we want to achieve together as a family for the next quarter in the next year in the next 10 years. And then we do a really good job of like checking in weekly and monthly to discussing. Like are we happy with how things are going? What do we need to change?
And things like that. And I think it works really well like learning how to do these guys, having these conversations that was actually kind of hard. I think it works. So that's my tips for successful marriage but honestly a successful any relationship. I've got a lot of relationships, Shawn and I
You know, the less popular co-host of this podcast him and I have had a relationship for ten plus years now and it's fairly harmonious. What is very harmonious? A bunch of my co-workers. I've worked with now for six seven, eight nine, ten years. So it mostly works pretty good. These types of check-ins and conversations. So anyway that's my small amount of tips for having a good marriage.
I feel like I can rule the world. I know I could be what I want to put my all into it like
Days on the Road, Less Traveled never looking back.
